The Life and Times of the Confused

Here I am again.  Another day (I would say another dollar but since it's my day off I won't say that part).  I rolled into my house at 9:00 a.m.  I don't know why people look at you like your doing the "walk of shame", when your just coming home from a pleasant night at the boys house.  Well maybe I was a little shameful of the things I did.  It's very odd that I can let myself relax around him so much that I do things that I normally would never do.  It's great and it's wonderful.  I expressed these thoughts to him last night and his response "good, plus I think you have to have deep feelings for someone before you will let them touch you."  Ok looking at my past track record I would beg to differ (I was kind of a how shall we say "friendly" in my younger years).  But this guy is different, I am always myself and never have to hide anything.  Hell he even gets frustrated when I censor myself at times.  He said that he wants the real me.  After I got done laughing at that, I simply mentioned that he had NO idea what he was getting into with the real me.  Then we had "the talk".  What are we? (not me asking btw)  I told him I don't like to put labels on anything because that's normally when it starts to go to hell.  I explained at this time we are two people who enjoy each other company immensely and have amazing sex.  The fact that we are both little on the dark side and a little bit crazy is just a bonus.  This seem to placate him.  I know neither one of us are in that point in life that we are willing or able to "be the one" for each other.  I am just glad at this point in time the we can enjoy each other.  I am just a little confused on this though.  Because frankly he treats me like I always imagined a man should treat a woman.  It's very odd and I hate it when my head and my heart battle.  I never come out a winner when this happens.

Stop Doing That Or The Monkey Gets Molested

Well last night was a interesting night.  The boy came over after he got off work.  It had been a long week for me (pain and not feeling well).  So the boy suggested that he come over and we just relax and hang out.  It sounded like a great idea to me.  I really do like this boy.  He's nice and sweet (ok maybe just to me but that's what counts)  he can carry on a conversation and doesn't irritate me (big big deal for me).  I never really thought he liked me "that way".  You see he is 9 years younger than me and the age difference I thought was just a little bit to big.  In same ways I still do.  According to him though, "I have never dated someone my own age or younger."  Now this kinda scares me because the first thing that pops into my head is mother issues.  But it doesn't appear to be that way.  I think he really likes a good conversation, and he says that he can't get that from younger women.  Anyways, he comes over and we are talking and hanging out.  He is sitting at my computer, trying to find some music to listen to.  I light a cigarette and the smoke goes right at him.  I told him that he was in the wrong place.  He takes this as move.  Which I know he doesn't like the smoke coming right at him so I thought was a good idea.  He comes to sit on the bed next to me.  I'm just being my normal silly self and playing with a stuffed monkey that I have.  I was making it dance and basically entertaining myself.  He grabs the monkey and says to me "stop doing that or the monkey gets molested" now this just made me roll laughing.  It was good because this is exactly what I needed.  He then starts to get really antsy and get up and moving around and when I question him about it (btw he doesn't like to give answers to questions)  he says "I'm thinking of doing something, but I don't know if it is a good idea".  Now I'm very confused.  While I have no illusions that I find him attractive and would probably sleep with him in a heart beat, I never thought he felt the same way.  He goes on to say "this would be so much easier for me if you were ugly."  I chose to act offended, but to those who know me, that would SO not be something I was offended by.  He gets his cute little grin on his face and just looks at me.  Ok butterflies in my stomach!  Then he takes my hand and starts massaging it.  In my mind I'm thinking "cool I'm making progress" .  But of course my mind and my mouth SO don't get along so I say "THAT was what you were so wishy washy about? THAT is what you didn't know if you wanted to do?"  My brain is screaming "SHUT UP!" but of course my mouth doesn't listen.  I go onto say "wow I thought it was going to be something like you asking me for a blow job or something."  Then there is a awkward silence.  And some more awkward silence....and some more awkward silence. I swear I could just beat myself up!  But the night went on and it was still go.  We talked we laughed, but I swear if my brain and my mouth would just get along, I might of been able to get some!

Dogs and the texts they send!

So today so been a very interesting day.  I got paid (no major meltdown), I cleaned my house (only a minor meltdown), did the laundry (for free so lots of cheering), and now I am house sitting and dog sitting.  Sounds like a good day.  Well for the most part it is.  But then my text messages go off.  Somedays i think it would be simpler just to never look at them.  Here was a message from Bill. You remember Billl right?  Well if you don't read "Really? Who says that?" and you will find out who he is.  Well his oh so wonderfully phrased message was.  "So I think you should let me come over tonight and we can have some fun."  Ok once again haven't heard from this guy in about two weeks.  What a way to make a girl feel like a cheap whore.  Well I told Bill that I had to housesit/dogsit all weekend.  His response to that "I don't mind if the dog doesn't".  Ok this just made me want to slap him!  I mean I like my friends and how disrespectful of them would it be for me to ask some guy over to their house when i know the only thing he wants to do is have sex?  I would never do that.  I told him that sorry my friends don't know him, so it isn't gonna happen.  I swear I just don't get some guys.  Will someone explain it to me?

Work at Home workers: How to get your boss irate!

I'd like to make a formal complaint.  About what you ask? Well there are many things, my name for one (already did that with my mother and she said that it would be answered in the order it was received so I'm guessing a quarter to never).  But this is a complaint about work at home agents.  Ok you work from home, there is no travel time and  you schedule your own hours (you know what you schedule is).  COME INTO WORK!!! It's not that hard, get your cup of coffee, can of soda or glass of liquor and sit down at your computer and turn it on.  There that easy.  You would think this is an easy task, but evidently it is monumentally taxing to some.  I don't get it.  Then when I call they act all snarky because I'm calling them because they aren't in to work.  Umm...your getting paid.  It's a job!!  What I really want to tell them is, when YOU don't come into work I get yelled at.  Pending I don't like getting yelled at I need you to come into work.  But can I say that? NO!  I have to be polite and professional!  My favorite are the people that have computer problems, i call and they say "oh well am I going to get paid for these problems?" Umm...I'm gonna go with no!  When my car breaks down and I can't make it to work, they damn well sure aren't paying me.  I don't get it.  I think I missed the boat someplace.  And let me tell you, if one more person hangs up on because they recognize the number and KNOW they are doing something wrong that I can see, I'm gonna scream.  Ok end of rant...thank you for listening.

Really?!? Who says that?

Ok so my dating life lately (ok since the dawn of time) has read like some horror story. I am always the one to pick the jerk in the crowd. From what I have heard that's not the most uncommon occurrence, but come on at some point don't the guys have to stand up and take some credit for the things that makes them a jerk? Case in point, I was seeing this guy, let's call him Bill. Well Bill seemed like a nice guy. He has a good job, is a great father, has a wicked sense of humor, and frankly wasn't bad on the eyes. So I am thinking to myself SCORE! I mean my requirements in men till this point in time hadn't been to terribly high so this guy just blew off the charts for me. We had fun, we laughed, he actually got my humor and was frankly a joy to be around. Then it happened...the inevitable....he turned into a jerk. About 3 weeks into seeing him, there was a incident, and POOF he was gone. No where to be seen and not to be heard from again. Fast forward 2 months and no text messages or calls later. I pick up my phone because the text message signal went off. I was like "cool someone to talk to". I looked at the name and it was Bill. This frankly shocked me. Then I read the message and actually uttered the words "really? who says that?" So almost 2 months of not speaking to me and just disappearing into thin air he texts me "wanna come over and suck my (insert word of choice for male genitalia)". Ok did I miss a memo somewhere? When did this ever become ok? If it was a joke I probably would have laughed, but knowing Bill it was SO not a joke. I don't know what kind of woman he thought I was but I texted him back and let him know exactly what I thought of that idea. I just really don't understand men!!! I am sure I probably should of dealt with the situation with more humor and grace, but well frankly I was ticked. Oh well I guess I will just chalk it up to another experience and go off and live my life!

A New Look

Ok so let's try this one more time. I know I should come up with a theme for this blog, but well since my thoughts are all sorts of rambling most of the time, I will just go with random thoughts.

There have been a lot of changes in my life as of late. I am thankful for them for the most part. Those changes have brought people into my life that I am awfully glad to have around. It's strange when I actually meet people that I like where I work. I guess that is probably phrased wrong. It's strange when I meet people at work that I would like to hang out with outside of work. On that topic......there's a guy (isn't there always?). He's all sorts of strange and keeps my mind working overtime to just keep up with his thoughts. We were talking the other night and he looks at me and says "do you realize in the last 15 minutes we have jumped to like 9 different subjects and you have never once got lost?" The only thought that went through my head at that time was FINALLY someone who can understand talking to me. My best friend has always said that talking to me is a challenge because I have 7 conversations in one. Her way to deal with it, listen to the first 10 minutes of my story then tune into the last 5 minutes and she gets the original story. I always thought I was the only one who ever did this, but as it turns out that there are two of us in the world that work that way! I am beyond excited, you have no idea.